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ALESTORM Unleash a Tsunami of Stupidity with “Killed to Death by Piracy”
- The Curator
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
ALESTORM Set Sail for Total Mayhem with “Killed to Death by Piracy” and a New Album That’s Equal Parts Chaos and Cannon Fire
Explosions. Entrails. Undead parrots. ALESTORM are back and they’ve brought the kind of nautical nonsense that makes Poseidon look like a wet sock. Their latest sea-shanty-from-hell, “Killed to Death by Piracy,” is a booze-soaked banger ripped straight from their upcoming opus, The Thunderfist Chronicles - landing cannonballs-first via Napalm Records on June 20, 2025.
This isn’t just another pirate metal song. No, no. This is an assault. Razorwire riffs slice through your eardrums while gang vocals scream in the key of rum-fueled hysteria. Death? Check. Doom? You bet. Lyrics that sound like they were written on the back of a vomit-stained treasure map? Absolutely. Throw in undead hordes and at least one rusty spoon, and you’ve got ALESTORM firing on all absurd cylinders. And yes, there’s a music video - and it’s so over-the-top it might just be considered a war crime in some countries.
Riding the wave left by their seventh studio seaquake, Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum, which charted like a beast (#7 in Germany, #5 on US Hard Music and Top New Artist charts), ALESTORM are doubling down on their brand of high-seas havoc. The Thunderfist Chronicles promises eight new tracks packed with enough shanty madness and rum-fueled riffs to sink a small navy.
After last year’s Voyage of the Dead Marauder EP and another globe-spanning tour of sweaty, swashbuckling chaos, these Scottish scallywags are back in the saddle. Or the crow’s nest. Whatever. Point is, they’re louder, rowdier, and more ridiculous than ever.
Christopher Bowes on the new single:
“Thanks for listening to our new song, we hope you enjoy it! Also, swans are endangered. Please support wetland conservation.”
Wait, what?
Regardless, The Thunderfist Chronicles is shaping up to be ALESTORM’s most brain-melting adventure yet. Opening salvo “Hyperion Omniriff” blasts the barnacles off the hull, while “Banana” is destined to become the drunkest singalong in pirate metal history. “Frozen Piss 2” returns with icy vengeance, while “The Storm” adds a touch of brooding theatrics. And then there's “Mountains of the Deep,” an epic sea ballad sure to soundtrack your next kraken fight.
Need more chaos? ALESTORM covers Nekrogoblikon’s "Goblins Ahoy!" with all the subtlety of a cannon to the face. And then there’s the 17-minute finale, “Mega-Supreme Treasure of the Eternal Thunderfist”- featuring choirs, dragons, guest spots from Patty Gurdy (yes, with a hurdy-gurdy) and Sir Russell Allen of Symphony X. It’s operatic. It’s excessive. It’s ALESTORM as the final boss of their own fever dream.
Bowes adds:
“This album is weird and full of difficult riffs that I already regret. It’s got a Nekrogoblikon cover, some really heavy stuff, and the longest track I’ve ever written. There’s yelling, there’s treasure, there’s Patty Gurdy. Honestly, it’s chaos.”
Watch the “Killed to Death by Piracy” Video and Embrace the Dumb:
So hoist your tankards, tighten your eye patches, and prepare for total sonic mutiny - The Thunderfist Chronicles is about to hit, and ALESTORM are dragging us all down with the ship… laughing the whole damn way.
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