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Local Westchester mutant and orphan, Scott Summers, has found himself and his (sometimes dead often alive wife), Jean Grey, stuck in a futuristic dystopian timeline.
After a recent battle was waged overseas between Scott, his woke co-workers, some helmet wearing arsehole with a white mullet and an orchestra of human/sentinel hybrids - the United States has declared a state of emergent woke awareness. A 'state' that has middle white America outraged at an event that will probably never effect them in the long term. This battle has resulted in Scott and his co-workers being flung into opposite ends of the timeline.
The thirty or sixty something year old (depends on who you're speaking to) caught up with My Kind Of Weird via inter-dimensional comm-device to give his side of the story:
"If it wasn't for that drunken party we had back in the late 70s, and a timely sabotage of muchly needed condom, I probably wouldn't be in this mess."
"Here I am stuck in this distant future with this red-headed woman who won't leave me the hell alone, some kid with a freakin' star over his eye and this old granny in a hood who thinks she's the eleventh member of Wu-Tang Clan."
"And yes, I know who Wu-Tang are!"
Scott, after recanting a horrendous misogynistic rant, was caught on tape followed this up by saying:
"I should have done what Gambit said. Pulled out. Apparently it works for him every time. If I dont that I wouldn't be in this mess with a woman and HER kids - in some far-out point in the timeline - and no way to get home. I just wanna sit on the couch and blast cones. You haven't lived until I've blasted one of your cones!"
A brief static interrupts the recording at this time.
"Oh shit. I think she's reading my mind again. I gotta go."
I approached the X-Mansion for comment and their spokesperson has declined at this stage.
More to come.
